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Are you, like me, overwhelmed and dismayed at the ever-more expensive and obligatory "wedding culture"? This is my take on it all. It's ok if you disagree with me - put it in your own song. This one's mine.

lyrics

Of weddings

We're gonna throw us a big old wedding, we'll expect all our friends to be there
We'll do it half way across the world, hope they can save up their airfare
We'll send them a list of nice hotels that they can rent out for their stay
They'll probably decide to make our wedding their vacation and stay a few extra days.
Now we won't do nothing fancy - maybe sixty; eighty grand.
Nothing our folks can't pay off in a decade or two (and we can't forget about the band).
It's gonna be such a magical wedding - flowers and music by the sea
the bridesmaids'll look great in the dresses they bought -
they'll be broke but their drinks will be free

You've got to come to our wedding - don't forget to RSVP;
and FYI your gift should be worth roughly how much you drink and eat
It's ok if you don't have any fancy clothes, I'm sure you'll find some somewhere for cheap
Can't wait to see you looking great at our wedding but please don't look greater than we!

It's gonna be such a wonderful wedding - such a solemn and sacred day
as long as we're lucky and the weather is nice
and we have time to rehearse through every step of the way
The guest list will be fantastic, the dinner nothing short of grand
We'll serve several hundred of the finest selections of chicken, beef, or fish in the land
And just before dinner we'll take a brief pause,
For our friends to extoll us and our guests to applaud
We'll have the requisite dances, father-daughter; mother-son;
And when we throw the bouquet it will be so much fun!
We'll all happily mingle while we wait for our food
And we'll all be in stitches when the garter's removed!

You've got to come to our wedding - don't forget to RSVP;
and FYI your gift should be worth roughly how much you drink and eat
It's ok if you don't have any fancy clothes, I'm sure you'll find some somewhere for cheap
Can't wait to see you looking great at our wedding but please don't look greater than we!

It's gonna be such a fabulous wedding - right from the pages of a magazine
We'll add quirky little touches of personal taste
to those age-old traditions that make weddings so great!
Buying us our gift will be hassle free, as long as you sign up for our registry
You'll be gazing in awe at our significant bling;
That's 3 months of my income wrapped up in that ring!
You'll smile when they bring out our 12 layer cake -
to be violently smashed into each-others face!
We'll have the second-best wedding band there is to be found -
and when they play "Mustang Sally" we all will get down!
We'll be the best-looking couple for miles around,
'cause we'll both have been tanning and lost a few pounds!
I'll look great in my tux - she'll look great in her gown -
It shouldn't be an imposition if you start saving now!

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from People never seem to amaze me, released May 24, 2017

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Sven Curth Lake Placid, New York

I am Sven.

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